I'm way too good at telling myself that I'm about to start. I do all the planning and a touch of research; craft a pencil-drawn calendar that details what my life would look like if.
if
This has been my if for months. This blog. A simple space that no one need find if they don't wish it. If no one read this, it will be for myself. If everyone does, it will still be for myself.
It will exist as proof that I have conquered one of my if's.
My resolution for 2018 was to set monthly goals. I never follow through with (anything, it seems) my resolutions, but maybe that's because I have always made them punishments. This year, 2018, I was determined to change my 26-year-cycle of not following through. My resolution was to take time at the beginning and end of each month to asses the previous month and make goals for the one to come. Now, more than ever before, I find myself aching for the start of each month because it means the start of a new goal, a new chapter, a new focus. Part of what has aided in this focus building has been my affirmation candles.
Guys, do you know about affirmations? I'm relatively new to this crystal-fueled realm of pseudo-witchy self care, but MY GOD am I drunk off this kool-aid. Affirmations are amazing. They're free. They work.
*these candles are not free, but they bring me so much joy and focus that their cost goes entirely unnoticed*
My grandmother gave me a mismatched set of gold-painted tumbler glasses for Christmas this past year. As it turns out, they were both chipped at the top and may have been intended as candle votives, but alas. They were presented as glasses and I treated them as such.
One of the first nights in our new apartment, my partner and I find ourselves eating ramen noodles in the dark for lack of overhead lighting and/or lamps. Recalling a pair of violet tea light candles I'd found while unpacking, I grabbed the chipped cups and drop a candle in each. voila!
Ramen by candle light.
The affirmation candles were discovered while I was looking for work one subarctic afternoon. I stumbled into The Eye of Horus Bookshop on Lake street looking for some incense and momentary reprieve from the wind. I was instantly drawn to a wall of small colored wax candles, perfectly shaped for the newly minted votives. Beneath the piles of various colored candles were small squares with simple statements inscribed within.
Needed Change - Cream (sandalwood & rosemary)
I willingly let go of my past, anticipating the new path I now embark upon.
Emotion Balance - Turquoise (sandalwood & rose)
I release the binding thoughts that keep me in this state of turmoil.
I surrender to the flow of life, achieving my balance.
When the candles finished burning, I retuned. I was still drawn to the Needed Change, but felt my other hand reaching for energy. A brilliant orange candle with and equally bright scent.
Energy - Orange (sandalwood, ginger & frankincense)
I am filled with the power of transformation to energize my mind, body & spirit.
This last time, I went with Rob. We chose candles for the two of us, to infuse our home with vitality and passion. We chose:
Attraction / Love - Red (lavender, cinnamon & patchouli)
I am open to receiving the love that surrounds me, and I give love without reserve.
Money Draw - Avocado (honeysuckle, patchouli & date)
The money I need, the universe will send, opening the path to wealth without end.
We burned them together this morning as he played guitar and I wrote. Keeping this week's affirmations in mind as we worked together, yet apart.
xo,
joko